How I’m Achieving My Goals

The number 1 way I’m keeping my sanity while actively making progress on my goals:

I’m lowering my standards.

I know, I know. “Lower your standards” is not advice one would typically expect to find in an article about achieving goals, but here I am. Saying it.

Two of my goals are getting my architecture license and living a healthy lifestyle. The actual work of studying, working out, eating healthy food takes huge amounts of time and effort. It isn’t realistic to give each activity the time I’d like to. Add in those days I feel like doing nothing, and reaching any finish line seems impossible.

It’s taken me years, but I’ve realized that temporary sacrifices can and should be made for greater future gain. For example, every workout doesn’t have to be at least 6o minutes, done at the gym, or 4 times a week. Yes, I want to be #thicc, but I want to be licensed more. For the next 3-4 months, as long as I get some movement in my life, I’ll be fine. That means settling for 15-minute Nike Training Club sessions, or a 30-minute yoga video on YouTube is okay!

I burned out after my first two exams because studying was the only thing I did. I thought I had to eliminate everything that wasn’t “the goal” to reach the goal. Granted, that worked for a little while, and I passed those two tests, but what a shitty thing: to feel guilt anytime I did anything other than study.

Recently, I’ve tried to “do it all” in the name of balance. Progress made with this method: minimal. I needed a compromise and here it is. I’ve given myself permission to temporarily lower my standards.

Let’s see how this goes!

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Happy Monday!

Happy Monday!

My weekend was equal parts productive and relaxing. I know they seem like counter-productive activities, but they really balanced each other out and allowed me to keep my sanity. I was starting to have flashbacks of pulling all-nighters in architecture school and decided that’s what I was NOT going to do.

I will admit that I did not gain allll the knowledge, but I made really solid progress, and feel really good about what I do know! Also, I’m not sure if it’s because the weather is changing and Autumn is pushing its way in, but I am in such an invincible mood.

Crisp air makes me feel awake, alive, motivated, excited, and generally happy to be living this blessed life. I get to wear sweaters and fuzzy socks, and cuddling can happen for longer periods of time without the discomfort of sweating. In fact, sweating rarely happens at all unless its intentional, haha.

Yep, Autumn is here, my test is Friday and I don’t feel completely unprepared. Yay life!

Okie, gotta get ready for work. I pray you have a productive week with adequate amounts of sleep and proper sustenance to fuel your days.

Baiiii

-S

Bruh.

I am going to take my third of five architect registration exams next week Friday, and I have a shit ton more studying to do. Instead of doing that, though, I spent all of my post-work time today sulking. Beau is traveling for work, which he normally doesn’t do on the weekends, and my body/psyche is not reacting to it well.

Beneath the sadness and general lethargy, I’m actually quite angry with myself. Sure, I let myself feel my feelings today–a good general practice for mental health and well-being, but I also let that allowance turn into dwelling on my sadness. I’m drowning in self-inflicted misery with no desire to pull myself out. And it’s frustrating.

Things I have to do:

  • study
  • clean my apartment
  • feed myself
  • wash my hair

Tomorrow–well, 24 minutes from now, but who’s counting–will be a new day. On this new day I will resume my status as Badass, and my to-do list will be my bitch. If Beau knew how much time I wasted today (which he might, I don’t know if he actually reads these anymore), he wouldn’t judge me, but he would be sure to do everything in his power to keep me from repeating the same thing tomorrow.

Something I’m trying to implement more is focusing on working towards and accomplishing my goals for those who want to see me succeed (if I can’t seem to do the work for myself). Beau wants to see me winning, and I want to see him winning. That’s one of my favorite things about us. We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders. I’m a badass on my own, but something about him makes me feel even stronger and more capable of doing literally anything I put my mind to.

I’m babbling.

Tomorrow! Tomorrow will be productive, and I will gain ALL the knowledge. I will also cook real food and provide myself sustenance like a good adult. I’m not a girl who falls apart without her guy, I’m just PMSing. These next 7 days are MINE, so let’s get it!

Baiiii.

-S

What’s Going on in My Life (A List!)

I’m studying again! It’s been a minute, but I’m doing it. I haven’t scheduled my next test yet (#3 out of 5), but I will once I have more material under my belt. Consistency is key here.

I’m doing Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Make Over Baby Steps! I’m currently on Step 2: Paying off my debts with the debt snowball method. I listed out my debts in order from smallest principal to largest, and that’s the order in which I’m paying them. It is a slow process, but seeing my student loan principal balance steadily drop is an encouraging and satisfying feeling. Patience and will-power is key here.

I’m still settling in to my apartment. Oh yeah, I moved out of my mom’s house! Haha, high-key trying to do this whole adulting thing. So far so good, but much like the debt snowball, it’s a long process. Anywho, yes. Settling in. My sofa comes tomorrow, and I will finally have WiFi! *parties like it’s whatever year WiFi became a thing*

I’m becoming a fucking Goddess! When I first started this blog, I wrote this post about becoming a goddess. I made a list of things I wanted to be doing and emotional benchmarks I wanted to reach in order to evolve. What I’ve learned, though, is that I can’t just make a checklist and when it’s all done I’ll be changed. *cries because this is how I’ve lived my entire life* The process of becoming a goddess is actually much simpler.

Note that I said simple, NOT easy. Organic growth happens when you live honestly, at the edge of your comfort zone, and with an open heart. Easier said than done, I know, but the process of making those things a reality is where the evolution occurs!

It took longer than I would have expected of myself, but I finally realized that by focusing on the journey instead of the final result, the pressure was relieved, the idea of failure became less scary, and time flew by (in a good way)! And here I am, 2.5 months after moving out, feeling like I’m finally blossoming into the goddess I’m meant to be.

I still have unachieved goals, and I’m no where near “finished” growing, but I wanted to share all this because I’m just freaking happy. Even when I’m in a funk, I’m still happy. God has blessed me with balanced feelings of contentedness and thirst for an even better version of myself. He did not create me to be mediocre, so who am I to waste day after day NOT being the absolute best I can be? NOT walking in His light and letting it fill me till I’m overflowing, radiant with His love and my own beauty, ready to pour it into those around me?

I just… I’m so grateful. And wherever you are in your journey, I pray for your success, but more importantly, I pray that you learn every lesson God (or the universe, or who/whatever it is you believe in) has for you.

You are important.

You are loved.

We’re all goddesses on the inside. (Even the guys, let’s be real hehe.)

Anywho, time to get back to studying. I have a feeling I’ll be back soon–writing this post made me feel good.

Until next time!

❤ Severn

Adulting || Deadlines

Here’s the thing: There are none.

Aside from taxes, and some work projects, there is pretty much no such thing as deadlines in adulthood.

I’ve been in the real world for a year now, and let me tell you something: I need deadlines. If I don’t have a hard deadline, nothing gets done.

And let me tell you something else: self-imposed deadlines do not (apparently) count.

Anxiety strangles me at the thought of letting my mom down, but if it’s only me I’m letting down? Psh. Who cares?! My goals don’t need to be accomplished anytime soon! I’m still young! I have the rest of my life ahead of me! Just have fun–no need to work towards anything specific. Just eat some hot cheetos and watch Gilmore Girls all the way through for the third time.

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My brain tells me this daily, and it’s so unbelievably frustrating. It takes a lot of energy to overcome this thinking, too, and as a result (when I can overcome it) I can have no more than a maximum of three productive days in a row. I can’t remember ever succeeding in a fourth (unless I was under enough stress to light a fire under my ass).

Here’s what I’m thinking, though:

Originally, I told myself I would get my architecture license by 25. That’s in 6 months, and so not likely to happen

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And this is where I get stuck.

Unless.

Self-imposed deadlines don’t wok. Stressing myself out by scheduling all the tests is NOT the move because I would actually implode (and go broke). So what are my options?

If any of you have ideas, please do share? I figure if I’m brainstorming, and y’all brainstorm, too, we’re bound to come up with something, right? So please help if you can and are willing. Otherwise, saying a quick prayer for my focus (and sanity) would be much appreciated as well.

Until next time,

Severn

May Goals

I skipped a couple weeks, but I’m here now. Hellloooo.

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It’s May! Honestly, where has the time gone? Why does it move so quickly?? What is the meaning of it all?!

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Anywho, now that that mini-existential crisis is out of the way, on to the main event.

MY MAY GOALS:

  • I am going to FULLY, REALLY, TRULY, SERIOUSLY get back on my 5am wake up schedule and study grind. I have been majorly slacking, and it’s time I kick my butt back into gear. This morning was a definite struggle, but tomorrow is a new day!giphy-downsized.gif
  • Find a good balance between going out/spending money and staying in/watching Netflix. If I do too much of either, I end up burnt out, or feeling guilty for neglecting my responsibilities. I can achieve this balance by really checking in with myself and assessing both my emotional and financial resources before deciding what to do with my time. Yay mental health and being responsible! happy britney spears yay following woot GIF
  • Follow through on promises I make–to myself and others! This one is pretty self-explanatory. It also goes along with keeping to my study schedule and such.

Those are the big three! When I try to tackle more than that it doesn’t tend to end well. It’s important to set goals and really strive to achieve them, but I believe one must also be aware of one’s own capabilities. I often spread myself too thin, and that typically leads to me half-assing a bunch a things.

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Okay, so it’s more than one thing, but still. You get my point.

Other things that will be going on this month:

  • continuing along my fitness journey (workouts & meal prep)
  • blogging (please love me by continuing to read my posts!)
  • dating (for the record I deleted all my dating apps, but more on that later)
  • my mommy’s birthday!
  • general all purpose adulting

I’m excited for another month! And I’m even more excited that it started on a Monday. It’s just so satisfying. Alrighty, time for me to hit the hay. (What a weird expression for a city girl.)

Until next time!

❤ Severn

December Goals

1. Catch up on studying.

I am way behind, so getting back to where I’m supposed to be (according to my handy schedule) is top priority.

2. Go to the gym!

I’m shooting for 3x/week, but I will settle for two. I am so incredibly uncomfortable with my body, so sculpting it into what I want is key to my happiness. Also, I may be signing up for a training plan, so yay!

3. Self-Love

I’m not happy, and I spend a decent amount of time putting myself down. Admonishing myself for the thoughts I have, being mean to myself about my body, telling myself I’m not doing enough to live the life I want… deep down believing I don’t deserve the life I want. Well, I can’t promise that all that will stop–chances are it never will–but I can at least add some self-love to the mix to balance out the negative. And then maybe one day the love will overwhelm the rest.

Finish the year strong! What are you December goals?

 

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November in Review

I had one goal this month: to be happy.

It’s been hard as f*ck.

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Mostly because my heart’s been broken, but also because even before my break up I was falling back into depression.

I went from 5am wake-ups (to work out or study or cook for the day) to snoozing 30-45 minutes, and laying in bed awake until it was imperative that I get up, shower, and go to work. Then I went to work and was probably at a 50% productivity rate. Then I would come home and promptly get back under my covers–sometimes not even bothering to change out of my work clothes.

It’s been rough.

Not even a month has passed since we broke up, but it already feels like my relationship with Beau never happened. Like it was a long dream, a detour from my real life. That feeling alone could suck the happiness out of me, but honestly depression did most of that already.

I’m not happy.

kanye west serious hmm unhappy not joking

Sure, I have happy moments or days or whatever, but overall I’m just a numb, sometimes sad zombie. Objectively I’m making good progress. I got rid of so much stuff in my room and bought a bookshelf and a desk, so my space is better. I started waking up at 5am again and doing test prep or going to the gym. My productivity at work isn’t as terrible anymore. I’ve had friendly conversations with Beau, I’ve spent time with family, I’m saving money.

But none of that makes me happy. I’m just going through the motions.

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My hope for the very near future is that “just going through the motions” starts to make me feel good again.

That being sore from the gym excites me. That eating healthy food makes me feel healthier. That keeping my room clean puts me at ease. That I stop hating my job, and I start to see it as the necessary stepping stone it is.

I just want to live my life with intention, and with a general sense of… happiness. “Meh” is not an acceptable answer to “Are you happy?” but it’s pretty constant for me.

My therapist has given me some suggestions that I’ll try to follow in the next month (and probably for the rest of forever until I’m happy and then longer so I stay happy). I often get caught in negative thought loops, and I’m meaner to myself than anyone else has ever been to me. I aim to fix that.

Did I accomplish this month’s goal? No. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying.

 

September in Review

Career

– Gain ARE eligibility.   DONE! I thought I had to send a transcript request to my school and have them FedEx it to NCARB and it seemed like a lot. All I had to do was get CMU to send NCARB an electronic copy! They had it for a about a week, so I called customer service. The guy approved my transcript right then over the phone, and the next day I was eligible to test! Yay for being proactive. 🙂 (Also shouts out to Fairy for all gaining eligibility #killinit)

– Stick to study schedule for ARE tests.   Sort of done? I still wake up at 5am everyday, but I’m not studying anywhere near 13-15 hours a week. Part of the reason I didn’t follow through on this goal is because I had a generic study schedule in terms of times to study, but nothing specific on content to cover. I’ve adjusted for going into October.

– Schedule ARE test for mid-October.   NOPE! See #2.

– Take more initiative at work.   Uhm… I still haven’t figured out what this means. I don’t think I did it.

Personal Development

– Meatless Wednesdays.   YES! Every Wednesday this month was a success! I almost caved once, but I stuck it out. I’m going to continue this one.

– Read the Bible everyday.   NOPE. I just haven’t made time for it. It’s that simple.

– Workout 3 times a week for at least 45 minutes.   NOPE. Once my personal training sessions stopped, I started slacking. We’ll see what I can do for October.

Financial

– Save 30% of Income.   Eh. I think it was more like 20%.

– Learn about stocks. NOPE. I honestly forgot about this one. Which is funny because I wrote it down twice.

– Figure out ONE budgeting system.   I… no not really.

– Read 21 Days to a Better Budget.   Read it… remember nothing.

So yeah! September has come and gone. I got at least one(ish) from each category–not too shabby.

I think what I need is to pick 3-4 main things to focus on. Maybe even cut it down to 2 or 3. I tried to take on too much, and that just led to lots of goals not being accomplished. And that’s lame.

Tune in in like 10-15 minutes (lol) for my October Goals!

❤ Severn

How did your September go?