Neo-Goddess

The other day my friend Nebula asked me what I want this blog to be, and I didn’t have an answer for her.

When I started it, it was because I needed a fresh start. I wanted it to be more positive, informative, and generally more useful than my last (super depressing) blog. It’s still largely personal–journal-based, if you will, but that’s not what I want. Clearly that’s not what I want because if that was working for me, I would write a lot more often.

There are a few different topics I would like to write about, but don’t because I’m afraid they won’t “go” with my theme. But if my theme is really just becoming a goddess, I should be able to do whatever I want. Goddesses have that power.

So I’ve decided to re-create Severn Goddess. I already have categories for sorting my posts, but I want to organize them a bit differently based on the things I want to write about.

These will include:

  • Mental/Spirital Health
  • Physical Health
  • Lifestyle
  • Adulthood/Adulting || career, work-life balance, and relationships)
  • Fiction and Non-Fiction writing  || Nebula mentioned she missed reading the “excerpts from the book I will write one day” from my old blog. I miss them, too.

So I guess the succinct answer is that I want my blog to be a reflection of my ideal life, while still staying true to the person I am now–a goddess in training (teehee “git”).

This idea has me really excited, guys! I can’t wait to share all these things with you!

Wish me luck ūüėÄ

‚̧ Severn

Advertisements

Quick Hello and Goodnight

My life feels like it’s coming together! And I’m sure there are a million things just waiting to happen (both good and bad) right around the corner, but I don’t care. 

In this moment I am happy. 

In this moment I am determined to achieve my goals.

In this moment I am at peace with the trajectory my life is on. 

I thank God that I live such a blessed life, and I honestly hope each and every one of you lovely people finds a source of happiness and peace in your own lives. Whether that’s a person, an accomplished goal, or simply a decision– I hope you find it. 

Everyone deserves to be this happy. 

Adulting || My First Day

Today was my first day working for my first post-graduate job. After discussing with my mother, I have determined that my first day experience clocks in at a 9/10.

giphy (9)

Things I did today at work:

  • Went on a field visit and measured stuff
  • Worked on the plans for that project
  • Started some construction document sheets
  • Visited the town’s city hall to drop off permit corrections
  • Sketched some townhouse units for some guy in Texas
  • Rode in a car with my boss twice

Mistakes I made (oops!):

  • Misread a tape measure (out loud to my boss)
  • Forgot to dimension a drawing (that I sent to my boss)

Things I feel good about:

  • The people in my office are nice, if a bit quiet
  • My boss’ dog¬†loves me
  • My boss seems to like me
  • I get to sort of design a hair salon
  • I didn’t make any huge or embarrassing errors!

See? Overall a pretty great day. I did find myself missing my old firm. It was bigger, brighter, and in downtown, but really I think it’s the familiarity I miss the most. I’m trying hard to remind myself that this place has just as much, if not more, to offer me. There are only six people at my current firm, which means there are many opportunities to learn and gain experience I wouldn’t otherwise get. Change helps us grow. (It also helps knowing I won’t be here for more than, like, 3 years if I stick to my 5 year plan.)

I still feel a little weird. Probably some combination of nerves and fear, but I’m sure it will go away by the end of the week. I just need to establish a routine, some flow for my life. I know I sound a little mellow, but I’m excited!

And I’m glad I’m not dealing with depression on top of all this stuff.

I’m glad my life is going well.

Toodles!

giphy (10)

Book Review || You Are a Badass

In my new-found adulthood I have decided to continue reading self-help books. I want to be the best me I can be, and I am self-aware enough to know that I will need a little help along the way.

I just finished this book:

20160530_111422

And it’s awesome!

Jen Sincero is a success coach, and she has wonderful advice for anyone who wants to start living their life on purpose. Her writing is funny, informative, understandable, and generally pleasant to read. Her advice is good whether you’re trying to make more money, lose weight, start a new business, or figure out how to travel the world.

The book is broken up into five parts, starting with “How you got this way” and ending with “How to kick some ass.” I want to fill you in on¬†everything I’ve learned from this book, but literally each chapter is full of golden nuggets. Instead, I’m going to encourage you to buy it¬†and give you some of my most favorite lessons (a list!).

Your subconscious is a lot stronger than you think.

Most people live life listening to and being guided by their conscious minds. This is the part of you that makes decisions and processes information. The subconscious part, according to Sincero, believes everything, and is led by instincts and feelings. We store a lot more in our subconscious than we know, and those things we store can seriously effect us. For example, if your subconscious believes money is evil (maybe because as a child you saw¬†that money was the cause of all your family’s arguments), no matter how much you say you want it, you will self-sabotage so you don’t get it. Sincero teaches us,

“[W]hen our subconscious beliefs are out of alignment with the things and experiences we want in our conscious minds (and hearts), it creates confusing conflicts between what we’re trying to create and what we’re actually creating¬†[italics mine].”

It’s so easy once you figure out it isn’t hard¬†(Chapter 17).

This chapter reminded me a bit of¬†Wolf of Wall Street–that whole quote about the stories we tell ourselves stopping us from reaching our full potential. Sincero simplifies it to:

“What you choose to focus on becomes your reality¬†[italics mine].”

There are so many people harboring negative stories about themselves. These beliefs¬†are easily identifiable because they start with phrases like “I always/never…” “I suck at…” “I wish…” “I’m trying to…” (as opposed to actually doing). Once you figure out what your stories are, you have to identify what it is you think you’re gaining from them. Is saying you never have time for the gym allowing you to feel comfortable watching TV on your couch for three hours a day? Is saying you can’t make money letting you play the broke victim?¬†Get rid of your stories!¬†¬†Or better yet,¬†rewrite them.

Sincero’s list for accomplishing this:

  1. List off your old stories that you’ve gotten into the habit of thinking and saying.
  2. Journal about the false rewards you get from them.
  3. Feel into these false rewards, thank them for their help, and decide to let them go.
  4. Take each false reward and write a new, powerful story to replace it with.
  5. Repeat this new story, or affirmation, over and over and over until it becomes your truth.
  6. Behold your awesome new life.

“The people you surround yourself with are excellent mirrors for who you are and how much, or how little, you love yourself.”

This resonated with me¬†so much. I used to say the phrase “I hate people” every single day. Obviously it’s everyone else with the problem, right? *rolls eyes* Sincero points out that whenever we are bothered or annoyed with another person, it is because we see something of ourselves in them. For example, in church yesterday there was this woman behind me who was¬†super¬†into everything. She was praying loudly with the priest, singing at the top of her lungs, and generally grating on my nerves. I was trying not to be a jerk about it (because I was in church and I had just read this part of the book), so I took a step back.

“Start noticing the things that drive you nuts about other people, and, instead of complaining or judging or getting defensive about them, use them as a mirror¬†[italics mine].”

Ask yourself if you also do that annoying thing, or if it reminds you of something you try very hard not to do. Figure it out and shut it down; figure out how and who you need to be in order for this thing not to bother you. For me, I realized I was getting annoyed because I really want to strengthen my faith and my relationship with God, and her enthusiasm was just reminding me how weak I still am in that department. After that, I tried to appreciate her way of praising, and even hoped I could reach her level someday. BAM, feeling of annoyance gone, happier me.

I could go on and on about this book, but I really think you should just get it and read it for yourself. Especially if you are in a place in your life right now where your self-awareness might be lacking. In my opinion, self-aware people are some of the best.

Thanks for reading, everyone!

‚̧ Severn

23 Revelations I’ve Had by 23

In no particular order, here are some things I’ve learned over the years. I’ve still got lots of life to live and lessons to learn, so I’ll probably do another one of these in a couple years (when I’m having my quarter life crisis!).

  1. Having a clean room/apartment/space really does help me be less stressed out and overwhelmed. (Something I used to think was total BS.)
  2. Going to church makes me feel better about myself and my life.
  3. My mother is literally one of the most important people in my life (if not THE most important) and I am so lucky to have her.
  4. Hating people doesn’t make them want to change, so it’s energy wasted.
  5. Sex is fun and all, but I actually want to wait to fall in love before I do it with someone again.
  6. Therapy is a Godsend.
  7. Excessive amounts of alcohol should be avoided, if not because alcoholism runs on all sides of my family, then because it makes me slutty.
  8. It is okay to look for happiness in others as long as I don’t¬†SOLELY rely on them for that happiness.
  9. Not everyone has a support system in their lives, treat them as such.
  10. It’s actually really easy to not spend money when you focus on that as a specific goal (aside from bills and such).
  11. I don’t need to check my phone every three minutes. (I mean, I do it anyway, but I know I don’t¬†have to.)
  12. My birthday is as much about my parents as it is about me.
  13. Excessive amounts of nostalgia prevent growth and character development.
  14. Every relationship (romantic or otherwise) has the potential to teach me something.
  15. I have to remember that it is okay to let myself feel my feelings even¬†if I think they make me weak. (They don’t.)
  16. My parents were not adults when they had me, I have to remember that they were growing up at the same time that I was, and forgive them for it.
  17. I want to see the world.
  18. Holding myself accountable (for ANYTHING) feels better than someone else holding me accountable for it.
  19. Flossing is not as annoying as I once thought.
  20. Architecture is not my passion, writing is (though I still love architecture).
  21. My actions matter to people other than myself.
  22. I would be unable to settle down for the rest of my life anywhere but Chicago.
  23. Actively living my life and not succumbing to the weight of my depression feels absolutely amazing.

 

Just Because

I am in a good mood! I spent all day doing absolutely nothing but binge-watching Saved By the Bell, and binge-eating sour cream and onion chips from Aldi. I’m sure my body hates me, but I’ve been working hard, and I deserved a bum day!

giphy

My plan for today

It’s half past ten, now, and I finally feel like being productive again, so I’m doing laundry and cleaning my room. I have a ten-page paper due Monday, and I would really like to get it done tomorrow so I can enjoy my weekend. If I get all of this stuff done now, I’ll be able to focus better tomorrow! *says the productive procrastinator*

giphy (1)

Anywho, I just wanted to say hey. I feel like I’m letting y’all down, though, so I’ll try to make the next post a bit more interesting! Any suggestions? Comment below!

Toodles,

Severn

Small Victories

When I woke up this morning, I didn’t lay there for an hour contemplating how important it was for me to do stuff today. I got up, got dressed, went for a run, came back, showered, and now I’m at Starbucks being productive as fuck.¬†And it feels great! I’ve been in a depressive slump for the past week, so it feels good to be able to¬†do things again.

I realized that part of what’s bothering me/contributing to my loneliness is the fact that my roommate, Corey, has a girl. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that they are now a thing because it’s been a long time coming. I just didn’t think it would make me feel so… well, alone!

Anyway, regardless of the lonely thoughts still swimming in my brain, I was able to leave my apartment with a sense of purpose. I’m praying this new found purpose remains with me for the next 21 days because that’s how long till I’m back home and fully adulting, betchessss.

Excuse me, I got a little excited there. Back to work!

Severn

Me, In Some Lists

List of things that are wrong with me right now:

  • I can’t breathe through my nose
  • My head hurts
  • There is a plastic bag of used tissues in my bed
  • I can’t open my eyes fully
  • I’m pining for someone who has a girlfriend
  • My stomach might collapse from how empty it is

List of things that are good with me right now:

  • I’ve gotten to binge watch Gilmore Girls for the past two days
  • I get to order all my food guilt-free (Mommy pities me because I’m sick, so money yay)
  • I have extra time to study for my psych test
  • My graduation date looms ever closer
  • I’ve gone 105 days without alcohol (5 days more than¬†my original goal)

Okay so I can’t think of more than five¬†(barring the typical I have a place to sleep, I woke up this morning, etc (though I am grateful for these things!)).

I’m determined not to let this get me down, though. I have had surprisingly high spirits all week despite my flu. Hopefully I won’t have to keep it up, though. I’m hoping that tomorrow I miraculously wake up healthy. Or at least healthy enough because I have a busy day tomorrow!

List of things I have to do tomorrow:

  • run a psych study
  • study for psych
  • research and write a paper topic statement for the history of sustainable architecture
  • get dressed up and volunteer at a capital ‘b’ Ball for the architecture conference my school is hosting

So yeah, being healthy for all that would be lovely. A pretty girl at a ball is less appealing when her nose is raw and she’s breathing exclusively through her mouth. Also, my contacts are easier to wear when my head isn’t all mucus-y. (I know, sexy, right?)

Alright, back to Gilmore Girls’ing.