2019

This year, I’m letting go of the idea that I can’t work towards multiple large goals at once. It’s a limiting belief, and I’m tired of telling myself that story.

This is the year of action.

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I’m pretty amazing.

You know what’s truly amazing? There are times when I feel absolutely no desire to do anything, but I still complete everything on my to do list (typically studying, cooking, working out), and then there are times when I give in to that feeling. Polar opposite behaviors.

When I give in and do nothing, I have convinced myself that [insert task here] is impossible to complete. But why? Obviously that’s not the case. I could fill a book with all the times I’ve sucked it up and gotten shit done. 

There is so much discipline in me, and willpower, but for whatever reason, I sometimes behave as if those muscles have atrophied. No more! 

Today was hella productive. I finished 2.5 projects at work, deposited my paycheck, got my tire fixed (and paid half price for the labor!), studied for the full two hours I planned to, cooked and ate actual food for dinner, prepped lunch for tomorrow, AND still had time for a little Gilmore Girls. 

You know what’s truly amazing? Me.

G’night!

❤ Severn

P.S. Everyday doesn’t have to be like today, but it’s nice when they are. 🙂

What I am willing to give up.

“The most important decision about your goals is not what you’re willing to do to achieve them, but what you are willing to give up.”  


– Dave Ramsey (by way of Beau)

Normally, I would respond to this quote with a list of the “physical” things I’m going to give up. No more Netflix! No Twitter, Instagram, chips, eating out, etc. I’ve learned, though, that while those types of restrictions are effective at first, they never last. My social media use is not significant enough to be blamed for my stagnancy. Netflix is definitely a time-waster, but again, not detrimentally so. 

The problem is ME.

The number one thing I HAVE to be willing to give up to achieve my goals is my limiting beliefs

I’ve made significant progress this year with my mental well-being. Overall, I have less feelings of guilt and anxiety in my daily life but I know that I still struggle with limiting beliefs. 

These annoying thoughts are why I didn’t pass my last architecture exam, why I stopped pursuing my writing career so soon after starting, and why I give in to most of my unhealthy food cravings.

There’s nothing wrong with taking breaks, but the reason my breaks have been so long is deep down, I don’t believe I’m capable of succeeding. I don’t know when or why this idea burrowed its way into my psyche. It’s silly, really. I’ve proven to myself (twice) that I can pass a test, that I have the discipline to work out consistently and make healthy food choices. I don’t exactly have evidence that I’ll “make it” as a freelance writer, but so the fuck what?

I succeed at everything I put actual effort into, so why would this be any different? Answer: It won’t be. 

My approach moving forward is simple: believe in myself

This will look like constantly challenging myself to do what I say I can’t, consciously stopping myself from literally saying the words “I can’t…”, pushing back against the negative thoughts that pop up, and leaning into my fears.

I’ll enlist help, of course. I’ve got a solid, loving support network in my family and partnership, so why not utilize that? (You read that, Beau? You can push me a little when it seems like I’m not pushing myself enough. I won’t get mad 😉 )

Until next time!

❤ Severn

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Featured image source

I’m too ambitious for my own good.

I’m a freaking writer who has stopped writing anywhere that isn’t my journal. That’s better than no writing at all, but just barely!

I have goals, I have dreams, I want to BE a writer, but I’m stuck. Well, maybe I’m not actually stuck, but I feel stuck. I got really excited and dedicated one night, and I signed up for a freelancer website. I started a new blog intended to be my professional writing portfolio. I even got an editing gig to gain a little experience! Granted, I volunteered to do it without pay, and the blogger I’m working with has been busy with her full-time job, so there haven’t been any new posts. Still, though, I made moves.

And then I stopped. 

I’ve realized I’m in a similar place to the one I was in around this time last year–I have too many goals! Thankfully, I’m not in exactly the same place. I’ve passed two of my architecture exams, I managed to move into my own apartment, I’ve paid off a much bigger portion of my debt than I expected to. I’m making progress, but it’s like watching those cartoon races up on the jumbo screen at baseball games. 

Part of me knows that I have to just pick one thing and focus on it–it worked before. But, another part of me is frustrated that that seems to be the only way to accomplish anything. I want to build a writing career, pass my last three architecture exams, become debt-free. I want the body of a goddess and the energy of a six year old. 

I’ll figure out a way to get it all done; I’m good at figuring things out. Really I just wanted to write something again. To publish a post with no pressure to make it perfect, and no intentions of adding it to my portfolio. Building the habit again can only help, right?

Until next time,

❤ Severn

featured image: Getty Images

I’m Out!

I’ve been stuck in my head for the past week or so, but I’m finally out! A combination of reading The Untethered Soul, talking to and sharing my feelings with Beau (after holding them in for no good reason), and getting an extremely good night’s sleep has me feeling on top of the world.

I don’t feel slave to my thoughts or to my experiences. I feel secure, centered. All those things I was worrying about last week–if I should be studying again already, if I give Beau too much space will he decide not to come back, what the hell do I do about not liking my job–all of that seems so… extra.

The reality of life is that you live it and then you die. Sometimes that thought freaks me out, but mostly it makes me want to do things I love and spend time with people important to me. I do NOT want to waste time worrying about shit I can’t control; I do NOT want to waste time on things that don’t matter; and I DO want to spend time figuring out what is important to me, what I want to do with my life, and how I want to make that happen.

I’ve been pretty mentally tame/calm for the past couple months in that I’ve been generally less anxious–I’ve grown a lot. But, this past week was just a reminder that there’s still work to do, and that’s okay! Growth excites me. I’m constantly evolving, and that keeps life interesting. If you don’t share that perspective, if we don’t vibrate on the same or similar frequencies? You can go on an get out of my way.

So, in summary: Go me!

Until next time,

Severn

Pep Talks

Sometimes I have to give myself pep talks in order to accomplish things. It helps if I can watch myself be all motivating in the mirror.

Showing myself tough love is my go-to. There are a lot of challenging questions and remarks like:

“Are you seriously gonna stop studying after only 30 minutes?”

“Stop being a little bitch! You literally lifted this same weight last week–you can do it again.”

“You were not made to be average! Get your shit together and just fucking do it!”

Most of the time these work pretty well. The rest of the time, I just have to accept defeat and vow to do better next time. And that is perfectly fine. 🙂

Hey Hi Hello

Hi internet friends!

I’m alive! Lots has happened since I last posted on this lovely little blog of mine, but it seems the older I get, the less desire I have to share my entire life with the world.

I passed the first of my architecture licensing exams through copious amounts of studying and prayer. I’ve got four more to pass, and I’m working really hard to make sure I succeed.

In my previous post, I talked about how it was time for me to pick a goal and focus on it before moving on to the next. That’s still my general plan (it’s been working well), but things are starting to overlap a little more now, because life likes to throw you curve balls, and God often brings you through things you don’t exactly feel ready for. I’m okay with that.

The trajectory my life is currently on excites me! I think I have grown so much in the past year, but really in the past three months. The combination of therapy, talks with my mom, spurts of life-coaching from Beau, and my own introspection have really helped me grow into myself. I’m more secure, less anxious, more willing to accept the uncertainties in life. I’m also a much more dedicated person, to my goals, my faith, and myself.

I (think I) have mentioned a few times how I view 2017 as “the lost year” because I don’t feel like I accomplished anything real. I’m wrong about that, of course, I did do things…it’s not the lost year because of lack of action, but because *I* was lost. I bounced around randomly going on dates with strangers, reviving my previously held role of “the other woman”, refusing to take concrete steps to accomplish my goals… I didn’t know who I was, or who I wanted to be.

I’m not saying I have it all figured out now, but I have a much better idea. I know where I’m headed, and what I want to do. I have a plan to make sure what I think I want to do is what I actually want to do. But, even with this plan, I’m actively not trying to control everything around me the way I used.

*deep breath*

It’s been a while since I’ve written on here, so I’m a bit rusty, haha. The points I’d like you take away from all this:

  • Dedication, Determination, and NO Distractions are vital to achieving your goals–seriously… STOP letting your dreams be suffocated by distractions like toxic relationships, mindless time-suckers, and negative thoughts
  • Your support system is vital to your personal growth, surround yourself with people who want the best for you, and be filled with their positive energy
  • Faith can bring you through the toughest of times, and even if it doesn’t feel like it, God is with you, and he has a plan for your life

Anywho, gotta get back to studying. These practice problems aren’t going to answer themselves!

Until next time,

Severn ❤

TTFN

I’ve got, like, 4 unfinished posts sitting in my drafts folder, and it’s because I keep deciding halfway through that I no longer like them.

That’s both a hard fact, and a metaphor for my life.

I have 4 large goals I’ve been trying to accomplish for the past year and a half or so just sitting on my “Goals” list, and it’s because I consistently half-ass any efforts put towards reaching them.

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Welp. 2018 is the year of the full-ass attempts. It’s the year themed “Level Up”. It’s time for me to pick a thing, and freaking focus on it until it gets done. Then, I’ll move on to the next thing. Simple, direct, doable.

Unfortunately, blogging is not on my current list of priorities. So, while I may return every so often to update y’all, or to share some random tidbit/life-lesson/experience/super short story, this is my official notice that I’m taking a hiatus.

I deserve more from myself. My goals deserve my undivided attention. I used to be great at getting shit done, and I aim to get back to that version of myself.

So, I bid you all adieu for now.

Until next time,

Severn ❤

May Goals

I skipped a couple weeks, but I’m here now. Hellloooo.

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It’s May! Honestly, where has the time gone? Why does it move so quickly?? What is the meaning of it all?!

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Anywho, now that that mini-existential crisis is out of the way, on to the main event.

MY MAY GOALS:

  • I am going to FULLY, REALLY, TRULY, SERIOUSLY get back on my 5am wake up schedule and study grind. I have been majorly slacking, and it’s time I kick my butt back into gear. This morning was a definite struggle, but tomorrow is a new day!giphy-downsized.gif
  • Find a good balance between going out/spending money and staying in/watching Netflix. If I do too much of either, I end up burnt out, or feeling guilty for neglecting my responsibilities. I can achieve this balance by really checking in with myself and assessing both my emotional and financial resources before deciding what to do with my time. Yay mental health and being responsible! happy britney spears yay following woot GIF
  • Follow through on promises I make–to myself and others! This one is pretty self-explanatory. It also goes along with keeping to my study schedule and such.

Those are the big three! When I try to tackle more than that it doesn’t tend to end well. It’s important to set goals and really strive to achieve them, but I believe one must also be aware of one’s own capabilities. I often spread myself too thin, and that typically leads to me half-assing a bunch a things.

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Okay, so it’s more than one thing, but still. You get my point.

Other things that will be going on this month:

  • continuing along my fitness journey (workouts & meal prep)
  • blogging (please love me by continuing to read my posts!)
  • dating (for the record I deleted all my dating apps, but more on that later)
  • my mommy’s birthday!
  • general all purpose adulting

I’m excited for another month! And I’m even more excited that it started on a Monday. It’s just so satisfying. Alrighty, time for me to hit the hay. (What a weird expression for a city girl.)

Until next time!

❤ Severn

Obligatory New Year Post

I was going to do a “2016 in Review” post, but after I wrote it, I didn’t want to share it. I learned and experienced both great triumph and heartache. Right now, though, I want to focus on what’s to come.

My theme for 2017 is Self-Love.

Every goal I set for myself this year will be geared toward becoming the best version of myself possible.

I’ve always struggled a bit with self-love and happiness. However, I just finished reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck (review to come) and one of the first points Manson makes is this:

The experience of seeking happiness, success, and a positive lifestyle is inherently negative. Mostly, it helps us internalize the fact that we (think) we are NOT happy, NOT successful, NOT positive people.

The moment I read that was the moment I stopped thinking of myself as unhappy. It was like magic! And along with that realization, I decided to love myself and everything I am!

BUT

That doesn’t mean I can’t improve some things or work on bettering myself and my life situation. It just means that I’m seeking all that from the healthy place of self-love, not the dangerous place of self-hate.

So without further ado, my biggest 2017 goals:

– #ArchitectBy25

– Be comfortable in my own skin

– Apply to grad school

– Be more creative and leave my comfort zone more often

– Buy a condo

These are some huge goals! They will require major focus, dedication, and perseverance, but I know I can do it

So you have a theme for 2017? What are some of your goals? Let me know in the comments!