There’s a piece of wisdom I read in The Queen’s Code by Alison Armstrong that said from most women’s perspectives, good things/situations are temporary and bad things/situations are permanent.
Unfortunately, I subscribe to this mentality. Now that I’m aware of it, I’ve attempted to catch myself in these feelings and stop them, but it’s an ongoing process.
Why is my mind set up this way? When something good is going on in my life, I can’t help but question when it will end, or what negative thing will happen next to offset my blessing(s). When something “bad” is happening, I find it extremely difficult to imagine an end to it. The light at the end of the tunnel is not an image I keep handy in my mental back pocket.
I don’t want to be this way, though; it’s exhausting. Barley tells me that whenever I get caught in negative thought loops, I should try to pair each negative nugget with a positive one. I’ll hand it to her, though it doesn’t tip my mood scale to “happy”, it does at least neutralize me. I appreciate neutrality! I also practice “zooming out”, seeing the big picture, and reminding myself that regardless of my feelings or short-sightedness, pretty much everything in life is temporary.
Of course, my initial reaction to that is, “Exactly! And that includes the good things!” But, the positive pair to that is, “Everything will balance out, and all will work out the way it is supposed to in the end.” Whether what’s supposed to happen lines up with my expectations is a whole other story… (try not to have expectations, they lead to dissatisfaction!)
Anyway, all I really want to say with all this is that it’s okay to just enjoy the good times for what they are, however long they last. And remember: the bad times will not last forever. You’ve made it this far, you’ll make it through the next thing, too.