My job is boring.
My job doesn’t pay enough.
My job is unfulfilling.
But I do it.
I slaved away for five years because I said I loved this. Architecture is what I want to do. An architect is what I want to be.
That’s not how it works, though. First of all, that last statement is slightly off. Architect is WHO I want to be. That’s what it should have been. That’s how I know that I’m not doing what I want to be doing.
Originally, when I decided to pursue architecture, my goal was to open my own firm and work with communities to create affordable housing that was sustainable and beautiful. Now I’m not so sure. I dread coming to work, I feel my mind turning to mush while I work on CAD all day, and I stress knowing I’m not getting the experience I’ll need to open up my own place one day.
I have to remind myself that I’m still new, though. Yeah, I’ve been doing “architecture” since the age of 12, but I’ve only been doing it professionally for three summers. That’s not even a full year of experience! But I’ll get there, and maybe as time goes on I’ll begin to fall back in love with architecture.
Maybe all I need is a little something to spark my passion again. A particularly beautiful building, or a trip to somewhere like Italy, or Greece. Maybe I’ll start sketching again, reconnect myself to my favorite part of the process. I have to do something. Adulthood is tough enough to get used to without also doubting my career choice.
Until next time,