I had a plan for tonight. I haven’t been able to do many of the things I normally would, so today was going to be the day. My laundry is undone, there is a pile of books to be read on my bedroom floor, the gym is mocking me, and my finances are still not organized into a budget plan.
But I don’t even care.
My cousin just wrote an amazing story. A story about our family, a story about the relationships in his life, a story about growing into the man he is right now. And I’m so proud of him. And it made me want to write again–like seriously write again.
This blog started off happily, hopefully, and while it hasn’t morphed completely, I would say it’s definitely changed. To be honest I was scared of sounding too depressed. I was afraid of somehow glamorizing my feelings here because that’s how I became so utterly dependent on my last blog. For validation, for releasing emotions, and for a definition of myself. I spoke to my readers more than to the people in my everyday life, and it wasn’t a healthy outlet anymore.
I don’t want this blog to turn into that one, but I think I might be able to find a medium.
Expect the usual positive posts with lessons to be learned from the misadventures in my life, but also be ready for some heavier content. I miss sharing raw feelings on here! Once I start therapy again I’ll get back to some of that.
Ugh, I suddenly feel very weird about this whole post. I was inspired by my cousin, but now I’m just… babbling.
I’m going to post more consistently.
I’m going to start writing with passion again.
I’m gonna keep being awesome.