My (Possibly Existent) Love Life

The Boy: Dapper

The Girl: Me (duh!)

Dapper is the boy I got close to my last semester of college. He’s got two years left, and he’s all the way in Pittsburgh. We have a pretty strong emotional connection, and he was majorly there for me during my depression. I’m going to visit him at the end of the month. Neither of us wants it to be a big deal, but I hate Pittsburgh, and I’m willing to go back for him. That’s a big deal. Any “real” relationship would be hard, and to be honest, I miss him, but I only feel connected when I’m with him. Otherwise, it’s just us being friendly and flirty. That’s not what I’m looking for–I need love.

What’s to be expected:

Lot’s of talking, lot’s of not talking (if you catch my drift), and an awkward conversation about where–if anywhere–this thing we’re doing is going (initiated by me).

The Boy: Beau

The Girl: Really?

Beau and I went to college together, he graduated two years before me, though he’s only a year older than me. He and I are working on becoming best friends. It’s actually not a hard task at all. We always have fun when we hang out together, we never run out of things to talk about. We know a lot about each other, and things just flow naturally. Plus he’s super attractive (and I’m obviously gorgeous, too). But I don’t exactly feel that… relationship vibe with him. Maybe it’s because we’re trying to be best friends? Maybe we’ve already known each other too long, and the friendzones have become permanent? I don’t know, but I do know that the only reason this idea is even in my head is because every time I mention him to someone (or they see us together), they ask if we’re dating. Is it something we’re putting out there? Sigh.

What’s to be expected: Absolutely nothing.

The Boy: Wolf

The Girl: The silly child (A.K.A. Me)

Wolf is this guy I used to work with. I had a ginormous crush on him, and he had a girlfriend. (For the record, I didn’t know that/don’t think they were dating when my crush first started.) My parenthetical comment does not excuse this next part: we totally hooked up. Once, we made out, and the second time we *attempted* to do a lot more. It didn’t really work out that way (thank you and I hate you, Alcy dearest). Anyway, I haven’t actually seen or spoken to him (since I asked about softball last month), but I still think about him all the time. Why? I don’t know! I don’t even really know the guy, except for a few small things, and the fact that I got him to cheat on his girlfriend.

*brain flashes big ass lit sign that says STAY AWAY in front my eyes*

But alas, I fantasize about him often. I can’t explain it, but I will admit that I don’t actively shoo the thoughts away. I should probably work on that. Anywho, he shouldn’t even be on this list, but I can’t help it! So I let it out through here.

What’s to be expected: Less than nothing.

I feel only slightly better, but meh. I can at least go to sleep now.

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