A couple days ago, I got a text from two of my cousins asking if I wanted to move in with them.
I called them, they told me the details, and I agreed to think about it.
- four bedroom house with two full baths
- my Godparents (their parents) own it
- front and back yards
- washer and dryer in basement
- basement with kitchen and storage
- only $360/month + utilities
- four other roommates
- move in would be end of July or end of August
I turned it down.
Yes, $360 is a steal if we’re talking about getting to live in a house. I would already know my landlords, and my cousins are pretty awesome. I was really excited when they first pitched it to me, but they asked me to think about it, so I didn’t say yes right away.
Here’s the thing: it’s a good deal and all, but that’s not how I pictured adulthood.
At first, that didn’t feel like a good enough, but it totally is! An important thing I’ve learned (through therapy and self-help books) is that I have the power to make decisions based on what I want out of my life. No, I don’t always know what I want, but this–my future apartment–is one of the few things I know exactly.
Excerpt from a journal entry I wrote TWO DAYS before my cousin’s contacted me:
“It should be in Lakeview, that’s where I want to live. Two bedrooms, and there must be a bay window somewhere. If no bay window, then one of those small sun-den type places. I just want a place to read. I would prefer the third floor of a building, but second or fourth will also do. The kitchen should be its own space, not shared with a dining room. In fact, a dining room isn’t even necessary because the kitchen will be big enough for a table.
My room will have a large closet. Maybe not quite a walk-in closet, but close. The second room will be a library, and have lots of light. The bathroom doesn’t have to be big, but it should look clean, and no crazy tile colors. Unless they’re purple, or light green. Or maybe light orange, but that’s it! The tiles can have moderately crazy colors.”
All that detail, literally two days before.
No where do I see myself living with four other people.
At no point do I want to have to mow the lawn (until I own my own house).
Rent is not factored in to my budget for at least another 6-8 months.
This isn’t what I want.
But what’s more? It’s okay to say no. It’s okay! Because if they are meant to get that house, they will find a fifth person, and they will get it. And if they don’t get it, that’s not my fault!
Yes, I miss the independence of living on my own, and my mom’s condo is not my ideal adulthood home. But it’s just not time for me to move out yet.
I’m taking adulthood at my own, Goldilocks pace. And that’s okay.