My Life 4/14-4/18 (Some Lists!)

Things I didn’t do:

  • Post Thursday
  • Post Friday
  • Write in my journal
  • Homework

Things I did do:

  • Hung out with friends
  • Got a pleasant amount of drunk (2 of the last 4 days)
  • Watched my team win third place in the races
  • Partied
  • Slept
  • Therapy

Things that went wrong or are now wrong:

  • I was ready to fight this girl who hates me because she came into my house like she was welcome there (even though fighting is NOT me at all… like I can get really angry, but fighting is so immature)
  • I made a dumb drunk decision that I wish I could take back, but can’t, so instead am trying not to dwell on it or hate myself
  • My phone won’t turn on, and I think it might have something to do with the fact that the battery can’t hold a decent charge

Things I did not expect to happen, but did:

  • I talked to Shoelaces for a sustained period of time (while drunk, which he hates) and didn’t spontaneously combust or feel weird about it
  • That drunken decision I made that I’m trying not to think about
  • I went to a very college-y party in a park where there was a giant homemade slip-n-slide, half-naked drunk people everywhere, club music, and that oh so disgusting Natty Light *vomits* (we didn’t drink that crap, we brought our own stuffs)
  • I made a new friend
  • I wore a crop top almost everyday

Things I now have to do to get my life together:

  • My psych project poster, presentation, and paper
  • My history presentation and paper
  • My studio project drawings and such
  • Grade assignments for the class I TA
  • Laundry
  • Groceries
  • Buy a new battery for my phone and/or go to my service provider
  • Have a serious talk with someone important in my life because I feel like our relationship is basically bullshit.
  • Cry a little bit because even though I have a plan for after graduation, and my bank account has more than the $5 dollars it had 5 days ago, I still feel like a total failure and like I have no idea what to do with my life let alone my daily tasks

Maybe I’ll start the crying a little early today.

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4 comments

  1. nzidemybrane · April 18, 2016

    EVEN IF ITS NOT THE ANSWER YOU WANTED! FAITH TRUST AND BELIEVE WITH YOUR WHOLE SELF!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. nzidemybrane · April 18, 2016

    Hope that helped a little at least… I am 34, I’m a Christian, and most importantly my Faith in God and His Word keeps my head above water even when I don’t really feel like coming up for air! I am honest in everything bc your word and trust is all you have when you’re naked! I accept my due consequences when I’ve wronged, I don’t judge anyone for anything except for the way they treat me! I am still learning how to bite my tongue and speak only words that God would be proud of.. That can get really tough but I also know how and the importance of saying I’m sorry and asking for forgiveness to humans and through prayer. PRAYER IS THE MOST PWERFUL GIFT FROM GOD! And HE DOES LISTEN AND ANSWER BUT YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY TAKE TIME TO LISTEN TO HIM!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. nzidemybrane · April 18, 2016

    Don’t dwell on the past! Don’t criticize yourself for poor choices that WE ALL MAKE AT SOME POINT! I see my past as lessons learned, no regrets bc everything small, big, good,bad that I did or happened to me is a puzzle piece of what makes me a pretty picture today! And I’ve fallen in love with who I am now and continuously evolving into so I’m ok with my poor choices, memories, in the past AND the ones I will continue to make! We all continue to make poor choices no matter how old…. What matters is that you just do your best and know there is a rhyme and reason for everything!

    Liked by 1 person

    • severngoddess · April 19, 2016

      “…no regrets bc everything small, big, good,bad that I did or happened to me is a puzzle piece of what makes me a pretty picture today!”

      That’s probably one of my favorite things anyone has said in a long while. I appreciate you sharing your experience, and the different perspectives that come along with them. I’m trying really hard to fall in love with myself, and there have been a lot of ups and downs in that process for the last three years. Hopefully I can truly accomplish self-love soon, but I know I don’t have control over how long that takes.

      Anywho, thanks for reading and for your kind words!

      Like

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