Productivity

I have always struggled with procrastination, but it was especially bad at the peak of my depression (valley of my depression?). You know, because of literally not having the energy or will to do anything?

During that time, my mother shared with me a revelation she’d had: there is Motivation, and there is Discipline. People are rarely genuinely intrinsically (that was a lot of -ly’s) motivated, but discipline is a skill, a habit. It is something you can teach yourself to have, and then you don’t have to worry about not having the motivation to [insert activity here].

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When you learn to be disciplined, your friends will say this.

After my mom told me this, I didn’t miraculously become the most disciplined person ever, or anything. My eyes were just opened to a new perspective, and for a while, it was actually a little easier to get myself to do things. It didn’t last super long, but still. I knew I was capable of getting my life together when I really needed to.

Now that my depression isn’t as strong as it once was, I try to be disciplined about more things than just my homework. For the past couple weeks, I’ve settled into a workout routine again, I’ve done chores around the house, I call relatives I don’t actually want to talk to. I’m basically living my life so that I won’t have to feel guilty about my choices, or like I’m doing everything wrong. And sometimes? I even have a tiny bit of actual motivation when I’m getting ready to do things!

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The precise amount

The thing is, there is no quick trick to getting over procrastination/lack of willingness to do anything. Well, not in my experience at least. The most I’ve ever been able to do is rearrange my thinking just enough to coax myself into productivity. Also, it’s the little things that make me feel successful, like flossing, and taking my vitamins. And that successful feeling is the fuel for the little spurts of motivation I get. So yay mundane life tasks!

Alright, I must be productive and study for my test, now. Until next time!

❤ Severn

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